As you’re reading this, it’s 11 weeks until I submit my PhD thesis. 11 weeks. A decent amount of time, but it’s becoming more real by the day now. I’m writing this post in advance and scheduling it to be posted – I’m taking a break. From Monday 9th April until Monday 16th April I will be intentionally forgetting about my thesis, turning all notifications off on my phone, and logging out of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
I am taking an entire week to sort my head out. I’ve mentioned before that I have depression, and I really didn’t realise how how much of an impact that writing my thesis would have on my mental health. It’s not that I’ve been particularly ‘depressed’ if you know what I mean, I’ve just been a bit mopey for a few weeks; nothing major, just a bit numb and unmotivated. I’m getting better at recognising when things aren’t feeling so good, and now is one those times when I need a bit of time to myself.
I miss the feeling of being super motivated and excited to sit down and write (honestly, that was a thing a few months ago!), and this week’s holiday has come at the perfect time. I’d booked it off ages ago because I’m going to see Bastille in Edinburgh on Wednesday night (a Christmas present from my boyfriend), and then I’m going to Brussels with my best friend Friday to Monday to see Air Traffic. Initially I’d thought about just taking the days off that I needed to, but the past few weeks have made it really clear that I need to take the full week. I need some time to sort my head out so that I can finish the PhD with the same feelings of motivation and enthusiasm that I started with. I want my thesis to be the best piece of writing I can possibly produce, and my brain is too mushy to do it justice right now.
This week I’m avoiding the internet, I’m unchaining myself from my desk and I’m going to have an entire week of doing stuff that I enjoy. Catch up with friends, read, go to the cinema, do some yoga, cook food from scratch (I’m an expert in Tesco ready meals at this point), spend time with my partner (this guy genuinely deserves a medal, I have been a true JOY to live with for the past few weeks), and actually make time to find out how my best friend’s first teaching job is going (I have been the worst friend recently, sorry everyone).
There will be no more blog posts from me for the next little while – I’ll be back once my head is feeling less like cotton wool and my thesis is feeling more like it will be something that I’m really proud of when it’s done.